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Enjoy this blog by Mary Kaba Valis, "Life is Bluetiful When..."

Life is Bluetiful When…

Life is BLUEtiful when...well, Always. Life is always BLUEtiful when you realize you have a choice to experience it that way!

There are so many events and situations that are out of our control. There are so many times when things just don’t go the way we expect, want, or need. There are so many times people may do or say things that can be hurtful, painful, or wrong.

The world may seem like it is spinning out of our control. Stop, breathe, and know, you have a choice. You can decide your approach. You can decide what attitude you want to take. You can decide how you will view it.

We tend to internalize and personalize every injustice in the world around us. Why wouldn’t we? We are human people with a need for interaction, understanding, and a sense of belonging.

When I was invited to guest blog on this topic more situations than you can imagine came to my mind. As a recovering perfectionist, attempting to pick that best ONE story served to be impossible for me. After all, what one story could convey it all? The truth is, we don’t have to be everything to everyone. We don’t have to have all the answers. We don’t have to let the negativity of an unwelcome event take away all our joy.

I gave permission to myself to not have to be perfect. I want you to do the same. That’s right. Go on and look in the mirror and say, “I am fabulous just the way I am. I don’t have to be perfect. I have a choice. I choose to live a life that is BLUEtiful.”

Letting the negativity take charge will not increase our control but it will lessen our joy. Think about a situation that has or could happen. Reflect on the possible paths you can take. How do the outcomes look to you? What did the journey seems like?

More than 18 years ago my baby girl was called home to heaven. She was born too early and was just too small. Vital organs were not developed enough. The doctors told my husband and me, “If you were another two or three weeks along we could put her on machines. All we can do is make her comfortable and wait for her to pass.” Let me share, these are words no mother or father wants to or is prepared to hear.

I was devastated. All my life I wanted to be a mother. When we wonder what’s in a day, for me, it’s a life possibly spared.

After weeks of crying, I had a decision to make. I had a choice. I couldn’t control the outcome of what happened. It certainly wasn’t what I expected, or wanted. It hurt more than anything. The pain was unbearable. Mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually I was crushed. I knew I could not continue down the path I was traveling.

The challenge was real. The choice of the least harmful and least negative journey had to be determined. This journey did not include a new baby girl and I could hardly bear it. It is then that it hit me that God took both of us. And if I continued on this path, the ugly downbeat attitude would affect so many around me. That couldn’t be what was in store. I knew I had to change.

My approach to events in life looks much different now. Even in the saddest of times, such as the loss of someone loved, I remind myself this person was not given to me. Rather we are on loan to one another until we are called home. While we are on this earth together we should strive to be thankful for our time, no matter the length. Everything is part of a plan. Living life with thankfulness and appreciation for each day, choosing to make it the best day ever is essential in my existence.

When the time of negativity comes, and it will, remember we each have control over the choice. We can choose an attitude of gratitude. Take the approach that leads to the path of positivity. Even when we can’t control the path we are traveling, we can still determine the attitude we want to take during our journey, making our path all the more BLUEtiful.

About Mary Kaba Valis...

Mary is the Chief Serving Office of Your Sparkling Potential. As a Certified Life Enrichment Coach, Mary partners with individuals and asks powerful, thought provoking questions to help others get on the path to identifying, planning, and obtaining a better quality life.

With a Teaching degree and a Masters Degree in Psychology, along with being a Certified Dementia Practitioner, Mary also performs Dementia Consultation, Education, and Behavior Analysis for professional and family care partners caring for those with Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia.

Moreover, Mary enjoys engagements as a Motivational Speaker and Master Team Builder for groups, businesses, and organizations. With more than 30 years experience, Mary is thrilled to continue her passion to work with others to help them receive the tools needed and view to embrace a more positive journey.

Residing near the beautiful shore of NJ with her husband and beautiful son, Mary is near to her mom and most of her 7 brothers and sisters. Check out and Like Mary’s Face Book page, Your Sparkling Potential, LLC.

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